Because this story includes some important life lessons, my dear friend Bea has agreed to share it. I asked her how she is coping after the death of her beloved sister, Lanie. Following is her reply:

Doing okay, but the sorrow comes and goes. I guess I'm following "text book" grief stages. At first I was absolutely heartbroken, then numb. Really shut down numb. Last week depressed, like I was walking through molasses. Some days tears, some days fine. Overall let's face it, it sucks losing my only sister and my best friend! I've always said that Lanie and my husband Bob held all of my "emotional eggs” in their baskets. Now Bob is the sole keeper of the emotional eggs. Our parents passed in '95 and '98 at the very young ages of 58 and 63. Now Lanie has passed at 52 and I am the sole remainder of my family of origin which is weird and sad.

The drug interaction is an important story to tell. Lanie took Paxil as an antidepressant. She took it upon herself to up her dosage because she didn't feel like it was working. Then she had some kind of drug interaction - we're not sure what it was with. This drug can interact with St. John's Wort, which a lot of folks take as a natural anti-depressant, or something as inane as over-the-counter cough syrup. She developed a condition called "Serotonin Syndrome." The purpose of Paxil and other "SRRI" type anti-depressants is to cause your body to create serotonin which naturally enhances well being. But too much of it causes what Lanie experienced. Her limbs locked up and got rigid and then she started having seizures. The doctors in the ER gave her sedatives to stop the seizures because the seizures are "like running a marathon while standing still" and can cause the individual's muscles to burn up and resultant kidney damage. Because she was conscious when she went into the ER, it was the expectation that she would just "wake up" after the serotonin naturally cleansed itself from her body.

Obviously, that didn't happen. When she showed signs that the serotonin was wearing off (less rigidity in her limbs) but she was not waking up they did further tests and realized she had had a major brain-stem stroke which would have left her a vegetable.

Imagine the personal anguish her adult children and I went through going from the "she'll wake up" diagnosis to "she will be a vegetable", all in the course of a few days and all completely preventable by adhering to the prescribed dose of her medicine and not mixing it with other drugs. You're right Carolyn - others can benefit by knowing about this!

Ultimately, as the sister and "Aunt Bea,” I helped walk Lanie's kids through the choices we had to face. Lanie had a living will (another important aspect of the story) and had expressed to all of us that she would have never wanted to "live" that way. But still - such a painful week and a painful decision - to allow my sister to be released from the body that was no longer supporting her. Lanie and I both held the belief that "our bodies are simply the car that drives our soul around earth” and that we are "spiritual beings having a human experience." Lanie's car was worn out - but her soul continues.

In case you missed them, here are but a few of the important lessons in Bea’s sad yet beautiful story:

• Everyone’s story of grief is different – and also the same.
• Having a Living Will is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your loved ones.
• Beyond the words on paper, it’s important to share your feelings about life and death.
• Don’t mess around with medications. Dosages of prescription medication are calculated for a reason. Don’t change them without talking to your doctor.
• Even the most common over-the-counter medication can have serious side effects when mixed with other drugs. When you pick up a bottle of cough medicine or even an herbal remedy, buy it at the drugstore where your prescriptions are filled. Step up to the counter and ask the pharmacist about possible interaction with what you are taking. My pharmacist has saved my life more than once.

And finally, we are all stronger than we think we are. You can and you will step up in a crisis and do what needs to be done. There is a familiar, often quoted and frequently misquoted saying "A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.” Close enough.

A couple of years ago my son went to a New Media conference called South by Southwest Interactive or SXSWI as it's called by those in the know. The conference takes place every year in Austin, TX. In case you haven't heard, Austin is "weird" and proud of it. You can buy shirts that say "Keep Austin Weird" and I'm not making this up. So I think that's why they meet there. Anyway, I usually keep up with him by exchanging email and reading his blog. That's motherhood in the 21st century. His blog said that he would not be checking email while at the conference, but that he would be available on Twitter. Oh, great. Just about the time I thought I had learned enough about social media to get me by in most situations, here comes another thing. I got a Twitter account so I could follow him at SXSWI. "Following" someone on Twitter means that you can view their short (140 characters) posts and if they so choose, they can view yours. I further embarrassed my grown son by signing up with the screen name "wadesmom" so everyone in his inner circle knew that his mother was checking up on him. I followed Wade through the conference and then started following a few of the more interesting people on his list. Then, much to my surprise, some of them started following me back! I was feeling pretty important until I found out that some Twitterers (I call them Twits) have their accounts set up to automatically follow anyone who signs up to follow them, so I guess Barack Obama didn't say, "Hey look, it's Wade's Mom; she's so cool." I was crushed.

So now I have my own little circle of Twitter friends, and I've become quite fond of them. There is Deb Puchalla, Editor in Chief at Martha Stewart's Everyday Food. Erin Kotecki Vest posts as The Queen of Spain and she has podcasts called "inquisitions". Aliza Sherman is a legend on the Internet. She is the original Cybergrrl. Now she lives in Alaska, but I don't think she's all that crazy about it. Last week her baby was running a fever and the advice was flowing in from moms all over the country. The Stirrup Queen blogs about the emotional roller coaster of infertility tests and treatments. I've been there and done that, so I totally relate. I have to thank one of my favorite authors and speakers, Dan Pink, for introducing me to two fabulous women, Franke James and Gretchen Rubin. Franke's "green" blog is not only entertaining, it's visually stimulating because she is a fabulous illustrator. Gretchen's Happiness Project is a joy to read. SoCalMom was my first Twitter friend. I can't even remember how we "met". Her name is Donna Schwartz Mills and she blogs about being a mom over 50. I say, "Better her than me!"

Now I'm hooked. Every morning after I check my email, I check Twitter. I worry when my girlfriends aren't posting - where could they be? Is everything all right? Did anyone hear from Aliza; how is the baby? I can't wait to read Gretchen's regular Wednesday post and happiness tip. And, of course, there is the awesomely talented and irreverent Heather Armstrong and her popular blog Dooce.com. Her readers expect something funny or poignant every single day, and she rarely disappoints. A lot of these women gathered in San Francisco last month for the BlogHer conference. I was so jealous. When they asked for votes about locations for next year,  I said "Please, please come to Vegas." Wherever they meet, I'm hoping to be there. Next month is the second Blog World Expo and it is here in Vegas. I went last year and tried to act like I understood what everyone was talking about. This year I can at least appear to be somewhat knowledgeable and I can say "why yes, I have a blog and of course I'm on Twitter". Maybe I will meet some of my online Girlfriends. Will they be like I imagined? Will they be shocked to learn that I'm old enough to be their mother? I could hide under the cloak of anonymity - one thing I've never posted on Twitter is my picture!

At long last Peter Pan's best friend (okay sometimes she's a vindictive bitch) is getting an animated feature of her own. After a few false starts, TinkerBell the movie is due for release on DVD and Blu-ray late this October. If you are the mother of a little girl and if just one more Disney Princess item in the house will make you run screaming into the night, here's your chance to distract your little darling with a new set of merchandising opportunities. And you don't have to wait for the film. Right now you can log onto Disney Fairies and get a leg up on what will surely be the marketing coup of the season - at least for the under ten set. That's because Tink (as she's know in certain circles) has GIRLFRIENDS! Yes, you can collect all five action figures plus whatever accessories are de rigueur in Fairy Fashion.

Pre-release propaganda bills this as a story about friendship. Not just about friendship but about the special bond among Girlfriends. I can't help but notice there is also a Diversity Component. Anything else would be so last century! Because I really and truly do believe, I have hope that this will be a story about real friendship and not just a lot of stupid cliches. I hope the fairy friends will exhibit true emotion and not just a lot of tee hee hee and boo hoo hoo. Even a child of three knows what real tragedy feels like. What if your precious Pooh bear got thrown out totally by mistake? How would you feel about that, huh?

There are few enough films about friendship among women and precious few aimed at audiences this young. If I had a little girl in my life, I'd certainly plan to watch TinkerBell with her. If the film is great, the job is done. If it leaves something or a lot to be desired, at least you have talking points.

On the website is a poll asking "Do you wish you were a fairy?" The icon next to  "Of course" is a picture of a beautiful fairy. The icon next to "No, I'm happy being myself" is some kind of green thing - I think it's a worm. Maybe it's a butterfly-to-be but I'm still not happy with that message. So far 85% of responders would rather be a fairy. That's because even little girls are very suspicious of this whole "inner beauty" thing. They aren't dumb - they know that adults fawn and coo over tots with big blue eyes and rosy cheeks and sort of pass over the ones with stringy hair and big ears (yeah, that would have been me). Just recently a good friend of mine asked his granddaughter, "Do a lot of people tell you that you're beautiful?" She said, "No, just you and mama." And I could tell she really didn't care. She was busy creating beauty - a really great drawing that showed she has genuine talent. She wasn't interested in being distracted by what other people thought of her appearance. She's only eleven; I hope that attitude stays with her for the rest of her life.

By John Lennon & Paul McCartney, of course

I get so many email "chains" that announce National Girlfriends Day or National Beautiful Women Day and demand that I forward to everyone in my address book, that I view each one with skepticism. However, when I saw that the first Sunday in August is National Friendship Day, I thought it sounded legit. So I verified it in the time-honored tradition - I looked it up in my little Hallmark date book - the ones you can still get for free by the cash register at Hallmark stores. Yes, there it is! The United States Congress, in 1935, proclaimed the first Sunday of August as National Friendship Day. Since then, celebration of National Friendship Day became an annual event. The Friendship Day website says it's a "hugely popular festival". Friendship is certainly worth honoring and celebrating, but I don't see any parades passing by or balloons going up. In 1997 the United Nations named Winnie the Pooh as the World's Ambassador of Friendship. I tried to reach him for a quote but all he would say was, "Oh, bother!"

The message I would like to disseminate today is this: Teach your daughters to value their girlfriends. That's the subject of another email floating around in cyberspace. It goes like this:

A  young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking  iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they  talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities  of life and the obligations of adulthood,  the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon  her daughter, "Don't  forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the  tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be  more important as you get older. No matter how much  you love your husband, no matter how much you love  the children you may have, you are still going to  need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and  then; do things with them. Remember  that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...
your  girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women  relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always  do."
"What  a funny piece of advice!," the young woman thought.  "Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't  I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married  woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my  husband and the family we may start will be all I need  to make my life worthwhile!"
But  she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with  her Sisters and made more women friends each year.  As the years tumbled by, one after another, she  gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew  what she was talking about. As time and nature work  their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters  are the mainstays of her life.
After  more than 50 years of living in this world,  here  is what I've learned:
Time  passes.
Life  happens.
Distance  separates.
Children  grow up.
Jobs  come and go.
Love  waxes and wanes.
Men  don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts  break.
Parents  die.
Colleagues  forget favors.
Careers  end.
BUT.........
Sisters  are there, no matter how much time and how many  miles are between  you. A girl friend is never farther away than  needing her can reach. When  you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have  to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will  be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying  for you, pulling for you, intervening on your  behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's  end. Sometimes,  they will even break the rules and walk beside  you...or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends,  daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law,  sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers,  aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family,  all bless our life! The  world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither  would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood,  we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows  that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would  need each other.
Every  day, we need each other still. Pass this on to  all the women who help make your life meaningful.

This is all over the Internet, but no one seems to know who wrote it. If you do, let me know and I'll spread the word.

Cheers!

Carolyn