Because this story includes some important life lessons, my dear friend Bea has agreed to share it. I asked her how she is coping after the death of her beloved sister, Lanie. Following is her reply:

Doing okay, but the sorrow comes and goes. I guess I'm following "text book" grief stages. At first I was absolutely heartbroken, then numb. Really shut down numb. Last week depressed, like I was walking through molasses. Some days tears, some days fine. Overall let's face it, it sucks losing my only sister and my best friend! I've always said that Lanie and my husband Bob held all of my "emotional eggs” in their baskets. Now Bob is the sole keeper of the emotional eggs. Our parents passed in '95 and '98 at the very young ages of 58 and 63. Now Lanie has passed at 52 and I am the sole remainder of my family of origin which is weird and sad.

The drug interaction is an important story to tell. Lanie took Paxil as an antidepressant. She took it upon herself to up her dosage because she didn't feel like it was working. Then she had some kind of drug interaction - we're not sure what it was with. This drug can interact with St. John's Wort, which a lot of folks take as a natural anti-depressant, or something as inane as over-the-counter cough syrup. She developed a condition called "Serotonin Syndrome." The purpose of Paxil and other "SRRI" type anti-depressants is to cause your body to create serotonin which naturally enhances well being. But too much of it causes what Lanie experienced. Her limbs locked up and got rigid and then she started having seizures. The doctors in the ER gave her sedatives to stop the seizures because the seizures are "like running a marathon while standing still" and can cause the individual's muscles to burn up and resultant kidney damage. Because she was conscious when she went into the ER, it was the expectation that she would just "wake up" after the serotonin naturally cleansed itself from her body.

Obviously, that didn't happen. When she showed signs that the serotonin was wearing off (less rigidity in her limbs) but she was not waking up they did further tests and realized she had had a major brain-stem stroke which would have left her a vegetable.

Imagine the personal anguish her adult children and I went through going from the "she'll wake up" diagnosis to "she will be a vegetable", all in the course of a few days and all completely preventable by adhering to the prescribed dose of her medicine and not mixing it with other drugs. You're right Carolyn - others can benefit by knowing about this!

Ultimately, as the sister and "Aunt Bea,” I helped walk Lanie's kids through the choices we had to face. Lanie had a living will (another important aspect of the story) and had expressed to all of us that she would have never wanted to "live" that way. But still - such a painful week and a painful decision - to allow my sister to be released from the body that was no longer supporting her. Lanie and I both held the belief that "our bodies are simply the car that drives our soul around earth” and that we are "spiritual beings having a human experience." Lanie's car was worn out - but her soul continues.

In case you missed them, here are but a few of the important lessons in Bea’s sad yet beautiful story:

• Everyone’s story of grief is different – and also the same.
• Having a Living Will is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your loved ones.
• Beyond the words on paper, it’s important to share your feelings about life and death.
• Don’t mess around with medications. Dosages of prescription medication are calculated for a reason. Don’t change them without talking to your doctor.
• Even the most common over-the-counter medication can have serious side effects when mixed with other drugs. When you pick up a bottle of cough medicine or even an herbal remedy, buy it at the drugstore where your prescriptions are filled. Step up to the counter and ask the pharmacist about possible interaction with what you are taking. My pharmacist has saved my life more than once.

And finally, we are all stronger than we think we are. You can and you will step up in a crisis and do what needs to be done. There is a familiar, often quoted and frequently misquoted saying "A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.” Close enough.